


One time Alex Danvers hated herself but got laid anyways

by Alsike



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alien/Human Relationships, Bad Parenting, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 16:26:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8540173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alsike/pseuds/Alsike
Summary: Summertime; teenagers; regret.(A Ficlet Crossposted from Tumblr.)





	

An excerpt from the unfinished piece, **“5 times Alex Danvers hated herself but got laid anyways, and one time she didn’t”**

The fire was like an eye, down on the beach, casting its gaze on silhouetted bodies, arching and pulsing to the thumps of the boom box, falling down in the deep sand, doubling over in laughter. Alex sat on a log in a hollow between the dunes, bare feet buried in the cold sand, half full beer bottled clasped between her knees, two empty ones cast aside next to her.

“Hey.”

Kara, her steps too light in the sand to be anything but flying, settled down next to her. She’d done something awkward with her hair again, Alex could make out that much in the shadows. Alex was never sure if she could mention it, whether it was just a mistake or it was something that reminded her of home. It was easier to cast off casually cruel comments than risk making a mistake like that.

Alex said nothing and took another sip of her beer.

Kara added nothing to her ‘Hey,’ digging her toes into the sand then lifting them, wiggling as it ran off in streams. Her clothes were tight. She’d gone through another growth spurt again and Mom hadn’t had time to organize shopping. She was taller than Alex now, though still a stick. She’d get boobs eventually and then the boys would probably not care about her weirdo awkwardness.

They still did though. Alex had been closer to the fire, hanging out with friends, dancing, until she’d seen Kara approach a boy, try to talk to him. He’d said something, turned to his friends, and they’d all laughed together.

Brian had put his hands on Alex’s hips right then, pulling her in. His hot beer-breath on her ear, he’d slurred, “your foster sister’s a fucking weirdo.” He’d rubbed up against her ass. “she’d be lucky to get fingered by a guy. You wanna hit the changing shack?”

Alex couldn’t deal with it. She’d fled. If she hadn’t, she would have killed him.

“It’s so cool how in the day the top of the sand is really hot and when you dig under it’s cool, and in the night the top gets cold and underneath it’s warmer.” Kara rambled, wiggling her toes in the sand and crunching stray bits of burned wood between them.

Alex huffed out a small breath.

“I mean, I know _why_ it’s like that. It’s just … cool. It feels nice.”

The slight slump to her body said something else.

“Kara …” Alex didn’t know how to talk about this stuff. She wasn’t great at talking about anything.

“I’ll leave if you want.”

“No.”

Kara ducked her head, looking over, sideways, her weird hairstyle falling in her face. Then she looked away.

“What’s it like to kiss someone?”

Alex swallowed. She was shit at talking, but Kara deserved her to try. “Dunno,” she muttered. “It depends. Sometimes it’s really gross.” Everything about Brian was gross. “Sometimes it’s … nice.”

“No one’s ever going to want to kiss me.” Kara crossed her arms over herself, hugging herself. “I just … I can’t fix myself. Even if someone did, I’d screw it up. I don’t—“

Alex shifted in her seat, not looking over, no eye contact. “I’d kiss you. If you wanted.”

“What?” Kara froze into a weird, tense, transitional pose.

Alex bit her tongue. Stupid, gross, stupid. She’d had too many beers. But she couldn’t help feeling guilty. She’d asked Kara to come to the party. She’d tried to stop the gossip and bullying, but she couldn’t change the reputation she’d cemented. She’d spent so much time distancing herself from Kara, joining in on the mockery just so assholes like Brian would want to bang her in the changing shacks. Stupid. Kara hadn’t deserved it. She didn’t need to make the same mistakes.

“You don’t need it. You’re pretty, and once you’re out of here, you’ll have your pick. If I hadn’t been a jerk for so long you wouldn’t be having such a hard time.”

Kara shook her head, her shoulders hunched like folded wings. “I understand—“

“No. I shouldn’t have done it. I wish— I wish I could make it up to you. You will have your pick. But—“ Alex swallowed. She’d been such a jerk. Kara had deserved better. But was asking this just taking what she wanted and calling it a favor. “If there is anything you want to know or want to try, I’ll help. I will.”

Kara’s smile was the kind one, the one she always offered in the face of Alex’s guilt. Not that Alex could really talk about it if she wasn’t drunk. Maybe it was just her, ‘oh, Alex is drunk again,’ smile.

“I don’t really need to know things.” Kara smiled. “My aunt explained things to me.”

“It’s different hearing about it and doing it.”

“Yeah.” Kara’s eyes were lingering on her neck and Alex wondered what her impossibly good vision could see.

“Is anyone watching us?” Alex asked it so quietly that no one but Kara could have heard it.

“No.”

Alex leaned in quickly and pressed her lips against Kara’s. She pulled away just as quickly.

“I’m not kidding.”

Even in the darkness, she could see the light that filled Kara breaking out, spilling into everything. She felt like she might be a Kryptonian for a moment, able to hear the rapid flutter of Kara’s heartbeat, the light in her smile, the warmth of her skin, even without touch. “Alex.” Her name murmured like it was something special, and Alex reached out, sliding her fingers into Kara’s hair. Kara nosed toward her, hesitating as the tips of their noses brushed. And then she went for it.

Soft kisses. Shifting angles, bumping noses. Alex led as best she could, but it was hard to remember to demonstrate different ways of kissing when she just wanted to go deeper, to make the pulse she could feel under her fingers speed up. She nipped and tugged at Kara’s bottom lip and Kara made a sound, then pulled away, her breath heaving, pressing her face against Alex’s shoulder.

“Hold on. Just— just give me a moment. I …”

“Kara,” Alex murmured. “Want to go home?”

They slid through the window into Alex’s room, and then Alex peeled off her sandy skirt and top and climbed onto the bed, shifting back and patting the space next to her. Kara stood frozen in the middle of the floor, and then Alex blinked and suddenly she had a lap of mostly undressed alien.

“You’re sure?” Kara’s voice squeaked. “You’re sure you want to do this with … with me?”

“Shh. Don’t wake mom.”

#

Wet kisses were different. Kara, damply enthusiastic, couldn’t handle the light brushes of tongue, and pulled off, lapping up Alex’s face like an overenthusiastic puppy. Alex laughed and buried her nose in Kara’s ear, nipping at her earlobe, and nearly getting squashed as Kara’s hips lurched into her, knocking her back and deep into the mattress.

“Shh, stay still.” Alex reached down and cupped her, giving her direct pressure, and Kara mewled, slumping onto her, mouthing her neck and squirming against her. “Don’t push. Kiss me again.”

And Kara shifted, moving over her to trace her fingers over her face, then lean in and kiss her. Alex fluttered her fingers, not giving her pressure, and Kara gasped until she wasn’t so much kissing her as trying to swallow her up, mouth open, smearing half-dribbled saliva across her face.

And Alex, who had never, ever wanted to get up close and personal with anyone’s sex parts, couldn’t think of anything besides burying her head between Kara’s legs and giving her everything she could.

“Roll over,” Alex couldn’t move the enthusiastic alien off of her. “Roll over, Kara.” She stopped her fingers and Kara rolled her hips. Alex squirmed and with one judo hold, she managed to get on top.

Kara lay flat on her back, eyes wide, looking up at her. Alex gave her a scolding frown. “Hold onto the mattress, ‘kay?”

Kara nodded seriously and grabbed on. Her mattress was never going to be the same.

Alex swallowed hard and shifted down to sit on Kara’s thighs. She hooked her fingers into the waistband of Kara’s underwear and drew them down. They clung, sticky and soaked, and the scent rose up, heady like alcohol. Alex choked down the next lump in her throat and let her fingers trail over Kara’s lower abdomen.

And then she dipped into the smooth wetness.

“Harder?” Kara mumbled. She was verbal again. That was good. Maybe.

Alex shook her head. “You hold on. You let me be in control. I’ll get you there, I promise.”

“Okay.” And Kara looked as trusting as she always had, even when Alex had been the least trustworthy asshole.

She’d keep her promise. She had to.

#

The bed broke. Kara flushed in embarrassment, but Alex only laughed. Kara nuzzled into her, kissing her throat, and then pushed her down, controlling her strength. “Can I do it for you?”

“Yeah.” Alex said. Being squashed under her favorite alien was starting to be her favorite place to be. “I can tell you what I like.”

Kara shook her head. “Tell me if you don’t like it. I want to work this out.”

“You think you can—” And Kara’s fingers cut her off, sinking into her mouth, a strange, unfamiliar penetration, and the hot throb in Alex’s core turned into fire.

Alex sucked the fingers and Kara leaned close, using the tip of her tongue to trace strange shapes like Kryptonian letters across her face.

Kara was as weird as hell, but god, if she wasn’t perfect also.

#

“Mom!”

Eliza had come in in the morning without knocking. Alex sat up quickly, dragging up the sheets to cover herself, but it couldn’t cover Kara’s naked form sprawled out across her, still snoring. It couldn’t cover the bruises and hickies Kara had left all over her skin.

It wasn’t her fault. Super-strength didn’t make things like this easy.

Eliza’s face went blank, her mouth open, her body frozen where she stood, the basket full of laundry clasped in her hands.

“I told you you should _knock_.”

The laundry basket thudded to the floor. Her hands came up to cover her mouth. Finally, a noise emerged. “ _Alex_.”

Alex felt sick, not like she wanted to puke, but like there was something inside her gut that was alive, and wanted out.

Eliza closed her eyes. “Alex.” She took a breath. “Get dressed and meet me in the kitchen. Two minutes.” She turned around and walked out.

Alex knew what dying felt like.

#

“She’s your sister, Alex. She’s— she’s a child and an alien. She doesn’t understand what this means, what you did to her.”

Alex couldn’t breathe, not to protest, Kara was _not_ her sister, she was _just_ a year younger, Krypton wasn’t the backwoods, she’d had sex ed from her aunt better than American kids got, she hadn’t done anything that Kara hadn’t wanted her to, she would _never_ —

“Alex, Alex, you have to promise me that you won’t do this again. You’re her sister. I need you to protect her. I know you didn’t intend it to be abuse, but that’s what it is. What happens when Clark finds out? What am I supposed to tell him when he comes to check on her?”

_Tell him?_

“Don’t—“ Alex choked out the word. “Please don’t tell him. I won’t do it again. I promise. I mean, I wasn’t going to, I didn’t even—“ Alex gulped down her tears. “It was never about me. She never liked _me_. She just wanted to know how humans did it. I was just getting her ready to be with someone else.”

Eliza sighed. “Oh god, don’t say that. It was hard enough when I just had one girl to worry about. And now there’s Kara, thinking she knows about sex. I suppose I should worry about you too, but I see that bird has flown.”

Alex’s lips parted, but she couldn’t speak. How could her mom manage to turn something which had felt good, felt like something sweet and intense and real, into something dirty and harmful. And now her mom thought she was a slut too; she thought she was sleeping around, and she didn’t care. She only cared if it was Kara.

“Alex?” Kara peeked out from the stairwell. She’d heard everything, of course. “Is everything okay?”

“Fine.” Alex stalked past her.

That night, she felt Kara’s weight settle onto her bed, she felt fingers trace along her cheek.

“Go away, Kara.”

“But—“

“I’m your sister. You don’t touch your sister like that. It’s gross.”

“But—“ Kara’s voice caught in her throat.

Alex rolled over and sat up, her hair tangled in her face. “And you don’t want me to touch you anyways. I’m a dirty slut, ask mom.”

Kara looked shocked and confused.

“And if you do it with me again, Clark will take you away.”

“I— I don’t want to go.”

“Then go back to your own bed, Kara. Learn to masturbate like everyone else.”

Kara slunk away and Alex dropped down into her blankets. She rolled onto her face and pressed her fingers between her legs. She was so horrible, that even after scaring Kara and making her feel bad, she still wanted to get off remembering what it was like to kiss her, and the feel of her skin under her hands.

What did it matter. That bird had already flown, right?

**Author's Note:**

> I really enjoyed writing this prompt and others. Come find me on tumblr, @nike-ravus, and give me some more if you want. But if I really like your prompt, I retain the right to write my random crossover pairing instead--sorry. :)


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